小沮丧

When an outcome fails to reach the expectation, disappointment shall occur.
I am clearly aware that life would not go just as how you wish it to be.
That's why life is full of surprises and it is unpredictable.
However, no matter how much I am aware of this "principle" of life, still, it will feel kind of sad and disappointed when I fail to reach my target.
I'll admit, it's quite surprising when I got the result. I know I didn't do it very well, but I'm quite confident with my answers. I thought I could get a better result, but... ah, it's disappointing!

Sometimes, I really look up to someone who can still get up and stand straight no matter how many time he falls.
Doesn't he feel despair after failing for so many times?
How could he be so strong?
How did he overcome all the sadness and desperation?

High Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ) is something that I'm really lacking.
Sometimes, I'm really wish that I could be a little optimism rather than being so pessimism for all the time.

Thus, gotta keep telling myself: Don't take every small little things that "heavily".
It's tiring & I can't move on if continue for being like this.
So, my dear, please get over quickly.
You don't have time for grieving.

Get over it.
Get over it.
Get over it.
Seriously, it's time to move on.

失败的冲动

其实我很早就知道了，我的自我要求真的很高。甚至有时候会很辛苦，因为要求过高而把自己逼得喘不过气来。
有时候，当我站在别人的角度想的时候，我也会认为：绝对不要做像我这样的人，因为实在是太辛苦了。
不过，有时候，我真的会怀疑自己是否有自虐倾向。因为……虽然辛苦，但我觉得自己还蛮享受这种压力的。言之意下，我根本就没想过要改变自己。甚至认为要求高很好啊。而且，应该把目标设得更高才对。

不过不过，这些都不是本篇的重点。

其实，现在看回以前的帖子，总觉得……搞什么啦！自己以前到底在写什么？这种没水准的东西。
如果我的冲动成功转化为行动的话，我想我应该会把以前的帖子都删得一干二净吧。
不过，还是算了吧。
就这样放着，作为以后自嘲的用途吧。

后悔吗？

这里……被我荒废了好久。
几乎快一年了。还是真的已经一年了？
反正呢，我早就知道我就是这种性格的了。很容易厌倦的性格。
写腻了就不写了。
就像游戏一样，玩腻了就不玩了。
所以，这种情况确实也没什么好奇怪的。

不过说真的，最近真的有种想要“挖个洞，然后把自己埋起来”的冲动。
总觉得这个学期做了很多很丢脸的事情。
而且，总是在事后才后悔：我为什么要这么做？感觉好蠢哦！

唉……
所以……就这样吧。

累……

累……累了，
我的心……累了。

好想回到过去。
对未来充满了前所未有的迷惑。

我……该何去何从？
我……迷惑了。

我……累了。

《冰》

冰冷的心
耍着短剑
向你
抛出完美的抛物线
无暇的技术
命中目标
完美！

屏息期待
我最爱的时刻
鲜红的血液
染红了刀子
那诱人的腥味
令我着迷。

冰冷的尸躯
就如一盘光亮的碟子
盛着美食
诱惑我。

向前
舔了一口
那血就如红酒般
滋润了我的味蕾
幸福
满足。

冷笑了声
够了
饱了
潇洒转身
寻找
下个猎物……

《梦》

我要像小鸟一样飞
飞上那蔚蓝的天空
无忧无虑
自由自在
行吗？
行！
来，到梦里去吧！
展翅飞翔
随你飞得又高又远的
梦啊梦，
是助你实现梦想的魔法师。

善感的姐姐失恋了
伏在枕头哭了一夜
想要逃避
忘却一切
行吗？
行！
走，躲进梦里吧！
抛开烦恼
随你在梦里笑逐颜开
梦啊梦，
是助你逃避一切的懦夫。

爸妈在外为家奔波
忙了一日又倦又累
闭目养神
彻底放松
行吗？
行！
嘿，来编个梦吧！
好好休息
随你编织幸福的美梦
梦啊梦，
是助你放松身心的推拿师。

梦啊梦，
你    究竟是什么呢？
是魔法师吗？
还是懦夫？
还是推拿师呢？
嗯——
我想，都是吧！
你    是善良的天使
为世间许多人
提供了最佳的心灵寄托处。

Maintaining is tiring!!!

Yeah, maintain a blog is sure tiring...
(especially for someone who is lazy like me)
Things are happening around me, but i'm just too lazy to write/type and of course to update n renew my blog.
Compare to do things tat require some (or much) thinking~~, I prefer to sleep.
Yea, I love sleeping.
That's why i'm having a hard time to switch my holiday mood back to my previous studying mood.
School is reopening, the new trimester begin~~
Getting busy soon, thus gonna abandon my blog sooner or later AGAIN.
Remember what i wrote in my 1st post?
"I wonder how long would I maintain this blog."
Yeah, wondering now~~
Most friends of mine, start blogging n stopped.
I wonder if I would be one of them too...
Wondering~~
N maintaining is sure tiring...