UnTitleD

I hate letting people down.

I hate letting myself down.

I hate selling myself out.

I hate showing out my weaknesses.

I hate myself who keep doing things that I hate.


I want to be a little less emotional.

I want change that side of me which constantly and unconsciously hoping for sympathy.

Perhaps should train putting up a poker face.

I'm denying myself.

迷宫

突如而来的忧郁……


繁忙，让我看不到尽头的课业……


我到底在做什么？
我是否真有能力做些什么？


不怎么顺利的这学期。
问题出于哪？


有点 麻木
有点 累了。


然而
即使累了，还是硬撑着自己走下去。


就像忒修斯逃出了迷宫后，发现原来自己并不曾离开这世界的本质。
那一瞬间的“自由”，只是假象。


那这一切又到底是为了什么？

DreaMS

Recently, there's a quote circulating the internet:


IF YOUR DREAMS DON'T SCARE YOU

THEY AREN'T BIG ENOUGH


That's right. I'm scared of my dreams.

DeciDeD

I don't want to live my life in regret.




It's decided.

UnChangeD

Then, I realized......

that the feeling for you has never changed. :)

Lost in the middle of nowhere......

What do I really wish for?

The more I look for it, the more I am confused.

I thought I am confidence, but it don't seems to be. After all, I am now just a nobody losing of direction in this wide and uncertain ocean of life.
I'm been "dream-planning" all this time.
That's right. "Dream-planning". Embellish my future, but take no action to it.
I'm scared, that the time flows so fast, that before I realize, I will be standing there in the desert with nothing accomplished.

But here's the question, What do I really wish for?
What do I really want?

I'm uncertain and scare. Of what? Of uncertainty.
Life has never been smooth and easy. That's the realism of life.
But in reverie, I have overlooked this aspect of life. The naive me, expect things to be casual and smooth. Resulting in conflict of reality and reverie.

What do I really want?
I'm losing in the middle of nowhere......

My 1st short sem

Actually what's the difference between "semester" and "trimester"?
It has bothered me for quite some time.
I know I can look for the answer whenever I want.
But, ah... whatever, I just don't feel like doing it now.
So... I guess I will just let it be. (Lazy me)

This sem is my first short sem in UTAR and... it's coming to an end. =)
I have to say, this sem could be the most relaxed semester for my 3 years degree life in UTAR.
No Chinese subjects, only 2 LANs subjects with a English language paper.
Since it is going to end, it indicates that Final is just around the corner. =)

And I have to say... Gosh, I love this short sem!
It's really relaxing, with only three subjects.
And most importantly, it is so short that it is going to end even before I realized it.

Although I'm REALLY disappointed with me mid-term result, it's over. (I tell myself that)
But frankly speaking, I think I'm going to miss my Communicative English tutor. =(
(the only thing that I hate about this ending)

Gonna make study plans for my finals.
Good luck to me! =)